Perseverance is the Key... I think

I have fake confidence. I've been walking around masquerading my insecurities and fears pretending to be confident in the hope confidence will grow and hopefully overshadow my doubts. I wish I believed more in myself. I wish I could sit here and say "I can do it!" Really, I sit here and say "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can."

I've always known that picking a diet and following it for six weeks wouldn't work... at least not for me. Mostly because six weeks would only get me a fraction of the way to where I need to be. But, I think if I can make it six weeks... then I make it another six weeks... and then another six weeks after that. Well, what happens if I screw up within those six weeks... what do I do? Normally I would give up. I would decide it's not worth... in reality what I'm deciding is I'm not worth it.

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford

I'm slowly learning two things... 1. I AM worth it and 2. Perseverance is one of the most important aspects. Making a mistake isn't that big a deal... facing those obstacles and getting over them that is what is important. I need to keep my eye on the goal. When I face an obstacle, I need to remind myself that I can do this... perseverance is the key... keep on keeping on. And whatever other tacky phrases I can come up with.

"When the world says, 'Give up,'
Hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.'"

~Author Unknown

So, in my attempt to persevere, I am setting little goals for myself to help me achieve the big goal. At WW they call this... well, I don't remember... building blocks maybe? I would look it up but all my stuff is at home and I am not.

I didn't even really realize it, but I was doing this. By tracking and journaling everything I eat, and then by meal planning. I've been setting and accomplishing little goals. My next little goal is to eat slower.

I eat fast. It's something I'm starting to realize more and more as I start to eat around other people more. I finish way ahead of everyone else, and usually make myself sick from eating too much. So, I'm going to slow down. Enjoy the food. Sip water. Enjoy the conversation around me. This is something I can do. Something that will help me reach the ultimate goal of weight loss.

All this being said, here is tomorrow's meal plan.

Breakfast-

Muffin-2

Yogurt Smoothie-2

NF Latte-2

Total-6

Pts Left-31

Snack-

Yogurt-1

Almonds-3

Total-4

Pts Left-28

Lunch-

Tortilla-3

Laughing cow light wedge-1

Ham-2

Celery-0

Cucumber-0

Bell Pepper-0

Fiber 1 yogurt-0

Total-6

Pts Left-22

Snack

Apple-2

Babybel light-1

Total-3

Pts Left-19

Dinner-

Chipotle Steak Burrito Bowl-14

Total-14

Pts Left-5

Snack-

Apple-2

Ginger Snaps-3

Total-5

Pts Left-0

The Ugly Truth

I love carbs. Sometimes it's almost impossible to stop eating them once I start. Tonight I ate 8 corn tortillas.. 6 of them with nothing on them. If I don't portion out things first, I will eat whole bags of pretzels, chips, popcorn...pasta, rice, french fries. Don't even get me started on bread... especially sourdough baguettes.

I truly believe that carbs are what is hindering my weight loss effort... but i can't not have them. It's just not an option for me. So, what do I do? I try to weigh and measure things out first. Then I put them in baggies by serving size and make sure I know what the points are BEFORE I eat them.

So, tonight, after my tortillas...well, I didn't have anything else. But I really want pie. I think there is something else going on though. I mean, between the depression and the insomnia and the cravings... I'm either getting sick, just dealing with depression, or pms'ing. Hopefully I'll pull it together by next week.